Yvette WassBook your appointment

Relate Trained, PGDip Psychosexual Therapy, Member of COSRT,
MA Relationship Therapy, Registered Member of BACP

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Transforming how you feel about yourself and your relationship.

The Languages of Love - Are you both on the same page?

This is really about how individuals want love to be expressed by their partner. Sometimes it is assumed that your partner will intuitively know what makes you tick, what is important to you and when you feel most loved. This can be a minefield if a partner is basing their ideas on their own views and what can then happen is that genuine gestures of love are misinterpreted, fall flat and can leave one of you thinking, 'Why did I bother!'.


Let me give you an example, one person may feel mostly loved by their partner when physical affection is shown or time is created to be intimate. However,another partner may really enjoy this time too but feel more loved when kind actions are demonstrated, for example, helping around the home, taking over childcare to enable more 'you time', doing the DIY that has been on the to do list for 18 months. Perhaps one partner is more romantic than the other and appreciates the little post-it messages left on the kitchen worktop, the car windscreen, or a text received during the day - demonstrating that they are being thought of. Maybe, a surprise weekend away or meal booked means the world for you especially if you are the main organiser in the relationship and would really appreciate the other taking the initiative and the time to arrange something special.

Looking at 5 expressions of love - what is important for you. If you are in a relationship what might your partner say?

1. Physical affection and intimacy
2. Kind actions
3. Loving words (the 'I love you's', compliments, poetry, notes of endearment/flirtation)
4. Quality time together
5. Special gifts

For some people, a few of these expressions of love will be important and equally measured. Sounds simple?